August 11, 2021

 As time goes on and I have more experiences with what I have termed my past life, it is clear that some of the impressions are visions that this previous I had and some of them are actual memories. I am retrieving bits and pieces here and there, things that were seminal events in “my” life. I’m beginning to think that “I” had visions a lot and they often happened at random times; i.e., not just during rituals. If I were alive today in this present moment, I wonder if I would have been considered insane or if I would have been diagnosed with epilepsy. At the time when I lived, however, these visions were considered sacred, although that doesn’t necessarily mean that I was universally embraced by the people of my clan. I get the sense that I had allies in important places, though, (most notably Griffin who was my steadfast protector) and I generally enjoyed a secure--if fringe--place in the community.

I wonder how many people who are considered insane in the modern Western world are receiving transmissions from the spirit world. Granted, they are probably garbled and filtered through all sorts of structures, likely rendering them confusing or fragmentary.


The visions that my previous self experienced were clearly filtered through his culture’s mythopoetic milieu. I’m guessing he was Nordic or Germanic based on the pagan nature of his visions. Some of them were terrifying to him. Some were confusing. Some were crystal clear.


And then there are the impressions I’m picking up after his/my death. A couple days ago, I’m pretty sure I was picking up these post-life impressions. It was another one of those time-bending experiences where I as the current living soul was able to be in contact with him as my soul in the past. It was like I could help ground and guide him through the Bardo (or whatever) and thereby help to alleviate some of the terror and confusion. There was no sign of Griffin which, in addition to the content of the vision, made me believe these impressions were post-life but pre- this life.


Being is beyond time. Hameed talks about this all the time. The human soul is made up of Being - what else could it be? Because Being is beyond time and the soul is Being as its expressed in the world, it makes sense that the soul would have the capacity to loop back through time. This seems like a way that True Nature guides and assists and heals. It’s pretty incredible but feels true.


These visions from the previous me don’t seem to arrive in a particular order. Every morning is different. Sometimes there are no visions at all. Sometimes the experiences have nothing to do with this past life. It varies. Right now, though, I seem to be receiving impressions from the past life.


This morning was a memory fragment that may have been the first time that Griffin and I had sex. It started out with me seeing green. Everywhere was green. At first, it seemed like a sickly green light and this may have been the tail end of a vision. Gradually, though, the green glow shifted and became less sickly and more natural. The air felt moist. Everywhere I looked was green. I slowly realized that I was standing in a stream bed that ran through a low canyon. The black rock walls were covered in green moss and algae and plants. The plants were dripping with moisture. The day was somewhat gloomy or the canyon ran through a deep forest and the mist and trees shrouded the canyon. 


Griffin was nowhere to be seen but I could tell that I was excited to see him. I got the feeling we had been separated for a while, probably a few days. I was eager to meet up with him and was running through the canyon, upstream. Eventually, the stream led me to the mouth of a cave. A small waterfall was running out of the cave into the stream. 


Side note: It’s interesting how often caves and canyons figure into these impressions of my past life with Griffin. When I was traveling through the Bardo earlier this year, most of the time when I would meet up with Griffin at the end of the visions was by going through a cave. Water, rock, caves are common themes.


Griffin emerged from the cave not long after I arrive or perhaps he was already standing outside of it. He was covered in green slime from head to toe and wearing only a small loincloth. I get the sense that he was emerging from the cave after a ritual of some sort, otherwise he and I would never have been parted for so long.


In this memory impression, I’m taller and older than I was in the one that saw me traveling to Valhalla and meeting the Nornir. I’m guessing that I’m probably fourteen years old or so. I am overjoyed to meet up with Griffin again and scale the waterfall to leap into his arms. I give him a full body huge, pressing myself tightly against him. I don’t care that he’s covered in slime; I love him so much that I want everything about him. He responds gladly, taking me in his great arms and squishing against me. I am much shorter than him and my face is plastered between his furry pecs. Slime is now covering most of my body.


The full-body hug is chaste at first but his huge cock and balls pressing into my stomach provoke a familiar and unfamiliar sensation in me. I want to be as close to him as possible and press even hard against him. My hands are on his big, hairy ass but I gradually move them until I am working my fingers into his loincloth. I really want that big cock in the worst way. I want it inside me. I want to ride it.


If he is startled by the sudden sexual energy between us, he doesn’t show it. However, I get the sense that this is the first time I’ve ever taken the initiative like this. He doesn’t stop me. Indeed, he quickly gets hard and soon I am holding his giant erection in my hands. Things move fast from there. He lays down on his back in the stream and I strip out of my clothing. Soon, I am straddling him, lowering myself down onto that big, beautiful cock. It’s slick with slime and I’m slick with slime so there’s no need for lube.


I slide down and he enters me, gentle at first but gradually more confident and bolder. I am in heaven. I have never wanted him more and feel like I could die from happiness. I had no idea such bliss was possible before today and I embrace my new role as Griffin’s lover. From that day on, his cock would never be far from my hole. And that’s exactly the way I wanted it.


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