Showing posts from April, 2023

April 27, 2023

  I normally don’t put dreams down in here but a few nights ago I had the strangest dream and it continues to both amuse and haunt me. I have dreams like this only rarely but they are always profound and unsettling when they happen. Normally, my dreams seem to emerge out of my fears and anxieties and fantasies and are easy to figure out. Sometimes, though, they seem to come from somewhere else, somewhere outside of my own mind. This is one such case. In the dream, I had a glider which was different than usual. Normally, I can fly and just take off. This required that I be standing on a cliff and catch a wind gust as I jump off. I jumped and caught the wind but didn’t have my form down because the glider descended a bit more rapidly than was optimal. Even so, it was stunning. Every once in a while I have a dream where everything is hyper-real. This was just such a dream. The mountains, the forests, the rivers and streams, the trees, the rocks, everything was incredibly beautiful and viv

April 25, 2023

  Batboy came back! I have to say I was surprised and, as usual, I only figured out what was really going on afterwards. I swear I’m terrible at figuring things out in the Imaginal as they are happening. You’d think I’d learn to wait and trust that what I need to know will be revealed at the right time but I’m always second guessing what’s happening and am frequently wrong. Here’s the latest: I was meditating and kept feeling like I was in a cave surrounded by bats. I’ve been in bat caves before and they ranged from mildly unpleasant to very gross. This was mildly unpleasant (fortunately) and I didn’t get too grossed out by the bats swarming over me. At first, I thought the bats were demons attached to my soul in some way but I was wrong. They weren’t attached to me, just crowding around me. Further, it soon became clear that I was a bat, or batlike, as well. I was one of them, or at least was appearing that way right now. Once I realized I had taken on the form of a batman–to be disti

April 20, 2023

  My sense of Griffin has only increased over the past several days. I don’t know exactly what’s happening but I understand that there is an ongoing process, one of growth and understanding. It is changing both of us and shaping us, although I don’t know exactly in what ways. I do feel like, of the two of us, my soul has evolved in a way that stabilizes it in the nonphysical realms. Further, it possesses its own golden light. The light is dim, especially when compared to higher beings, but it's plenty bright enough to illuminate total darkness. As the famous saying goes, at night a candle's brighter than the sun.  This morning, I became aware of the soul of a boy. He was dark-haired, probably twelve or thirteen years old. At first, he appeared as a “batboy,” sort of an amalgam of human and bat. His skin was black and his face was mostly a gaping maw filled with razor-sharp teeth. He had leathery wings like a bat and was lying on his stomach, broken wings spread out around his b

April 15, 2023

  “The Betrayal Demon” I’ve often thought the Catholic Church’s fixation on angels and demons to be a bunch of hooey. Polarities do nothing for me and only serve to deepen the perceived split between good and evil, whatever good is and whatever evil is. In the broader sense of the Divine, neither really makes any sense. I have, however, had a number of experiences with so-called demons, most notably desire demons. I’ve perceived demons as sort of parasites, feeding off their host. However, that’s not exactly correct as it makes demons still seem evil in some way. I don’t think they are evil, any more than the host upon which they are feeding is evil. I see them as almost symbiotic with the host because both host and demon receive benefits from the deal. The host receives protection of a sort because, joined with the demon, it is stronger than it would otherwise be. The demon receives ‘food’ in exchange for protection. It’s not wrong and it’s not evil. It isn’t exactly healthy, though.