Showing posts from February, 2024

February 27, 2024

  No Imaginal sex today for once. ;-)  I was really planning to have a simple meditation but it didn’t work out that way. I became aware of the Black and then I realized I was surrounded by a pack of what I thought at first were black wolves. Their eyes glowed light blue, the color I have come to associate with the Land of Souls, for lack of a better name. These weren’t wolves, though, because, while they seemed menacing at first, I soon realized they were just agitated. They appeared to be huskies which are sort of wolf-like so I can be forgiven for mistaking them. In any case, the black dogs surrounded me, barking insistently and pleading for me to follow them.  I was still in the realm of the Absolute but it was a border region. All I had to do was look outward and I could see the edge of the realm. Up ahead was a shining blue-white beacon. It was so beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes. One of the dogs took my wrist in his mouth and pulled me toward the beacon. As we approach

February 26, 2024

  This was a bittersweet morning and one that led to an epiphany as well. I was focused on simply meditating and was successful for much of the time. Towards the end, though, I became aware of deep blackness. Of course, I opened to it. After sitting in the intimate blackness of the Absolute, I realized that I wasn’t alone. First I perceived a pair of jade-green, slitted, feline eyes and these slowly resolved into the form of a black panther. When I was child, the black panther was both the animal that I felt the most drawn to and also the one I was most afraid of. I’ve written in here how afraid of the nonexistence of the Absolute, fearing that when I die, I will simply be erased. I think the black panther represented this fear in animal form because the panther is stealthy and deadly and hunts at night. The fact that it’s black only added to this association with the annihilating quality of the Absolute. I recognized this black panther from a dream I had when I was five years old. In

February 25, 2024

  Today I learned a little more about the process I’m involved in. I guess it’s like an apprenticeship where I’m being slowly but surely trained. Right now, the Woman in White is my sensei but I have had at least one other in the past: Remember the mysterious entity who would sit with me during meditation and place his hand over my left hand? He was a steadying force and intervened on occasion when I was in over my head. There have been others who appeared (Jesus, various angels, etc.) but not on quite the same ongoing basis as the Woman in White. I realized today that I won’t be her apprentice forever and that made me sad because, as you know, I’ve grown quite fond of her and I appreciate her teaching style. She is the right teacher for me right now. Funny how that works. Today, I became aware of sapphire waters. I realized I was floating on the edge of a vast sea whose waters were deep blue and beautiful. The waves gently pushed my body onto the shore and I got up, looking around, to

February 23, 2024

  Today I wrestled with my American puritanical guilt around the sexual nature of my interaction with the Woman in White yesterday. It’s inevitable because I’ve been steeped in the same bullshit around sexuality as every other American. It’s quite tedious. In any case, it didn’t take long for me to recognize the object relation for what it was and shrug it off. When I did so, I found myself in a desert canyon. The sky overhead was cloudless blue. Steep, rocky walls towered over me. I didn’t have much time to appreciate the stark beauty of the place, though, because a rabbit-man appeared before me, his face torn and bleeding. The poor rabbit had been attacked and was quite upset. I’m not exactly sure what he was but I have my suspicions. I think he was a dude–probably a white dude–who was tripping on some sort of plant or fungal medicine. I suspect he fancied himself a shaman or was at least dabbling in shamanism. Further, I suspect that his spirit guide was a rabbit and that’s why he l

February 22, 2024: Sobek

  An interesting encounter with my sensei , the Woman in White, this morning…right after another unusual encounter. The initial scene took a while to unfold and for me to understand it. I was aware of aquamarine waters, green-blue. The climate was warm and the environment was swampy. The water was neither fresh nor completely saline but brackish. A tropical world of shallow waters and swamps, swarming with predators. The predators ranged from fish to amphibians to reptiles. The creatures represented many different eras of Earth’s development, some ancient and others contemporary. There was a fecundity about the place as if drifting eggs and sperm filled the water along with bacteria. It was beautiful and deadly and kind of gross. This was not a place that I would feel comfortable in if I were there in my human body. Gradually, the scene resolved and I became aware of a creature with the head like a monitor lizard. His body was anthropomorphic, though. The scene sharpened further and hi

February 21, 2024: The Pearl Beds

  “The Pearl Beds” Today was a reminder that not all entities take kindly to a white boy mucking about in the Imaginal realms. I was meditating and became aware of a winter forest. The hillsides were steep and the trees were quite beautiful. The sky was leaden gray and blue, also quite beautiful. The forest, however, was deathly silent; there wasn’t anything moving. It felt empty. I roamed up and down the hills as night was falling, eventually spotting a campfire in the distance. As I approached, I recognized the figure seated by the fire; it was Coyote, the trickster god of various Native American tribes. He appeared as an anthropomorphic coyote with a coyote head and furry but mostly human-shaped body. He was not happy to see me and I could feel the hatred rolling off of him like black poison. “Welcome, White Man,” he spat, voice filled with sarcasm. “I’ve been waiting for you.” He gestured toward the fire and the flames lifted upward toward the sky, a dark portal appearing in their

February 20, 2024

  This morning, each of the aspects of Essence arose within my experience. Green was first, an intense, full-sensory experience of the Loving Kindness. So rich, so deep, so beautiful. Gradually it faded into the Black until I perceived the Black Emerald, a diamond-like arising of the Black and Green together. Green was followed by Red, then Yellow, then Gold, then Blue, then Turquoise, Crystal and Amethyst. These aspects were like precious jewels but the experience was far more than just seeing them. Each one arose and then dissolved into Black. The last one to arise was the Pearl Beyond Price, the shimmering, pearlescent arising of all aspects of Essence, arising in a unique and personal way.  Finally, all aspects arose and formed a resplendent crown upon my head with the Pearl in the center. I realized that all of the higher beings I’ve met have had such crowns. They are not like crowns in the human realm which have to do with royalty and riches and dominion. This crown was more like