January 10, 2021
After feeling like I’d invented everything for the past couple weeks, I awoke feeling refreshed and excited and open and clear. I didn’t know why I felt this way and still don’t but I sat down to my meditation with a light, open curiosity about what would be revealed today.
At first, I just felt into my belly center and my mind emptied. Then Diamond Guidance appeared as a golden Chinese dragon inviting me to hop on. I did and we sailed through the air that was touched with rose and ice until we reached a pagoda in the middle of the air. An air temple, as it were. The temple was incredibly beautiful - gold and white marble with emeralds and rubies. It looked out over the vast horizon of empty space, over the clouds. Inside the temple were a ring of priests. I bowed to them, affirming our mutual love for True Nature above all else. Our fealty and service to the Truth was what connected us even though they were entities from an entirely different stream or tradition from my own. Still, we were connected because we abide in the Truth and are dedicated to following it.
In the center of the temple was a deep pit. After I finished greeting my priestly brethren, I leaped inside and fell far, far down away from the light. When I landed, I was in a place of such complete darkness that my eyes could not see. My heart, on the other hand, could see perfectly, guided as it is by my love of the Truth. In that deep, dark pit was something. It was alive and aware but had been sequestered so long in that pit away from the light that it had forgotten who it was. All it remembered was that it thought of itself as a monster.
I greeted this being as a brother...or sister...or whatever. I bowed and smiled because I was feeling the deep and profound love of Black arising within me. Black that is the source and the end and the beginning. Black of the Absolute, the deepest mystery, shimmering with anti-light. Gorgeous, rich, sensuous Black.
This was my message to the supposed monster: Black is not only deprivation. Black is not only forgetting and ignorance and death and hatred and despair. Black is peace. Black is power. Black is love. Black is the alpha and omega. Black is beauty. Everything is included in blackness, nothing is ever lost forever. Nothing is ever rejected forever. All have a home in Black.
I reached out and embraced the thing in the darkness, nuzzling its feathery neck and murmuring how much I loved and welcomed it. In some distant corner of my mind I was aware of the divine music of the Markaba, the Pleasure and Celebration of Truth. One more who had been locked out in the cold was free again. The world was full of possibility. Who knows what will happen?
It’s interesting that this inquiry did not feel personally relevant to me. Oh, I've encountered dark parts of myself where aspects of me have been locked away for so long they felt like they had become monsters. I’ve welcomed them back with a similar sense of celebration that felt intimate and personal to who I am.
This time, however, I don’t know why Diamond Guidance led me to this place because, while I welcomed the ‘beast’ as a brother, I have no idea who it is or what its history is. I can make a guess, of course, but I doubt that it was connected to my past. I could be wrong on this and it’s possible that its relevance to me will be revealed later. Right now, though, this felt like an act of service more than anything else. And, like I wrote two paragraphs above, who knows what will happen?
This act of retrieval felt important but the meaning of it is obscured.
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