February 27, 2022

 Last night, I could feel the souls of dozens, possibly hundreds of people, pressed up against me. They were huddled against me, seeking solace and warmth and light. We were in a vast, calm, beautiful forest. Night was falling and the trees around us were still, silent. The trail we were on wound through the wood. The evening was mild. It was comfortable. I was unafraid.

This wasn’t a frightening situation as far as I could tell so why were so many crowded around me? I don’t know for sure but I suspect the answer has to do with darkness, my lack of fear of it and my ability to ‘see’ in the dark. I was deeply touched by the faith all of these people put in me. Me, someone who is really nothing special apart from my comfort with darkness. Maybe I undervalue the importance of being alone in darkness, of meeting it, welcoming it and stepping into it?

This morning when I meditated, I was back in the dark forest. The people were still around me, drawn to me. Well, not me but to my light. I emanate a soft, warm, golden light. It pours through me, a beacon in the night, offering softness, love and mercy. It welcomes everyone without question. No one is rejected. No one is left behind.

Of course, this light is not mine but that of the Divine.

I could tell everyone was expecting me to do something and, clearly, there was nothing to do. I smiled at them and said, “Rest. It is time to rest.”

They did.

We rested in the darkness, allowed it to wash over us, to fill our lungs and our bodies, to become submerged in the vast, endless sea of night. I’ve been here before many times and, yes, there is still a part of me that feels a little fear when the blackness takes over. It’s the part of me wedded to my physical body that believes I will drown in it. Still, this doesn’t stop me from welcoming it. I soon learn once again that I can ‘breathe’ in the darkness, that allowing it to fill my ‘lungs’ does not kill me, does not make me drown.

I lay in this darkness for a long time, unmoving, unthinking, unfeeling. After a while, though, I became aware of a light. A golden radiance that grew and grew until it was blazing like the sun, a world on fire.

The golden radiance, this almost blinding light, was coming from me. I was the light.

This body of light eventually rose up out of the darkness and I found myself in the middle of an incredibly richly appointed throne room. I was kneeling on the ornate floor, head bowed. Surrounding me were a host of divine beings, all silent and all watching. Someone anointed me head with oil, blessing me, before settling a rich robe over my shoulders. It was a wondrous thing of such beauty! Made of the deepest, blackest sable and adorned with golden, flaming suns. Such a gorgeous treasure, one that was bestowed upon me.

I understood this robe represents the Pearl Body, the true form of the mature human soul. I also understood something that had eluded me: This robe, this Pearl Body, was not for me. No, it was all humanity, all creation. It is the Divine’s gift, the Divine’s blessing for all creation. And it represents service. The service is to all creation and must always be given without price, without question, freely to all.

The Pearl Beyond Price.

I had always understood the word price through the lens of the ego which equates it with a thing of great value to be possessed. This is not so. It’s priceless because it is free. As soon as a value is placed on it, it disappears. It is a priceless gift that is always given freely, unreservedly and without question.q

This experience makes sense because over the past week or so, I’ve been aware of my ego being freaked out and trying to grasp at something. It has felt particularly ungrounded and ‘out in the cold.’ It’s like it is accustomed to being the center and now it’s not. Something else is gradually taking its place and it finds this unsettling.

At the same time, I’ve been aware of the Pearl Body a lot more. Further, I’ve recently seen through a misconception I had about it. I wrongly believed that it is the ego that functions in the world and Pearl Body functions in the Numinous. No, that is incorrect. The Pearl functions both in the world and beyond it, beyond space and time. The ego only thinks it is functioning but it is really just co-opting the true functioning of Being.

The Pearl is a conundrum because it is both selfless and the True Self. The True Self is really the Divine identity shining forth from the location of this soul. So, it’s really nothing that can be possessed or owned. It is a gift bestowed upon creation, one that must be given back without question or expecting anything in return.


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