April 28, 2022

 Some brief snippets which may or may not be significant: Yesterday, I met another dragon, or I should say that I remet her. She was in an all-white world, a forest of trees touched by frost with snow blanketing the ground. She was frost-white and crystalline, yet soft as well. Her ‘fur’ was pure crystal, so fine that it was soft. Her face was vaguely antelope or deer-like, though wider. She had a pair of backward sloping horns. Her eyes were red as rubies. It was a gentle, sweet encounter. After a while, I realized that, while I was still in the all-white world touched by frost and snow, I was no longer in the forest nor was I with the dragon. Instead, I was standing at the edge of the forest before the gates of an all-white city. This city was different from the ‘White City’ I visited in the Bardo–the nexus of souls traveling through the afterlife. That city was warmed by a radiant sun in a pure blue sky and was built entirely of white marble with crystal-clear blue fountains here and there. This city was cold and snowy, hence the whiteness. And I somehow knew it was a nexus like the White City, only the nexus here was three faiths. The city was the border between Christian, Islam and Buddhism and its architecture reflected this. There were Christian churches, Islamic minarets and Buddhist temples. I don’t know what it meant or if I just imagined it. My meditation was over and the city disappeared.


Today, I made a slightly different offer at the beginning of my meditation. I wanted to make sure that my neutral stance was this: I was neutral in the sense that I wasn’t seeking any experience during meditation; however, I made it clear that I was open to guidance and open to assisting if my aid was needed. I don’t want to approach the Imaginal selfishly, expecting it to give me what I need. Instead, I’d rather be open to being helped, helping and doing nothing. Whatever is needed, that’s what will happen.

After sitting for a while, I became aware of infinite blackness. The blackness was like a mountain, though; like Diamond Will appearing through the spectrum of the Black Essence. I felt immense and powerful and unruffled and peaceful. My heart opened to the blackness, sensing the proximity of the Absolute, the Beloved. It’s strange that something that is nothing can also be so dear and close to my heart.

I sat as the black mountain for a while before the mountain disappeared and everything was just featureless blackness. Gradually, I became aware of a ‘demon’ - a creature of blackness with glowing red fissures running through its ‘body.’ The creature was vaguely humanoid but its head was triangular, like a praying mantis. It was heavily armored. Not a cute and cuddly sort of thing.

I bowed to it in order to acknowledge its presence and continued to meditate, inviting it to reveal itself. I did more than that: I invited it to merge with my essence if it was so inclined. It didn’t do this but it was curious and drew nearer. I wasn’t afraid and didn’t feel at risk. I was curious if Apis would show himself to protect me but he remained quiescent. The demon drew near and remained curious. I meditated, feeling the depth of the blackness that was everywhere, was everything. There was nothing to do.

The demon moved aside and revealed what I think was a human soul inside it. It was like the demon was a sarcophagus and the soul was the body inside. Indeed, the soul appeared like a mummy, only not wrapped in anything. It was like a shriveled human body with grayish, dried skin. The soul was in pain and also deeply tired. I could tell it and its ‘demon’ had approached me because they were tired to being outcasts and longed to be brought back into the fold of the Divine.

This isn’t the first time such a thing has happened. If you read through these entries, you will find several other examples. There are enough of them by now that I begin to wonder if there isn’t some truth to the gnostic belief that human souls have twins; i.e., each human soul is twinned by an angelic form. This doesn’t quite feel right to me because it doesn’t fit my experience very well (unless you considered Apis to be my celestial twin, which I suppose is possible. But what about Griffin? He’s not an angelic twin but a soulmate, another linked so inextricably with my soul that our souls are essentially one.) Still, I’ve encountered enough of these ‘twins’ by now that it makes me wonder. 

Are human souls naturally twinned with angelic souls? And can the angelic soul be corrupted into demonic form through the experiences and choices of the human soul? That would seem to be the case from these experiences. Perhaps the guides I met in the Bardo who led me to the lost souls were the souls’ celestial counterparts? In the case of the Bardo, though, these celestial twins weren’t corrupted…but, then again, the lost souls weren’t evil, just, well, lost.

So, is it possible for humans to lose their way so completely that their twin ‘falls’ from grace and becomes corrupted? It’s an open question.

In any case, these demon/soul pairings seem drawn to me because on their own they appear to be incapable of perceiving the Divine. My hypothesis is that they are drawn to me because I can perceive the Divine. I can because I recognize my inner nature as the Divine. The Absolute is my nature. Period. It’s impossible not to know this because it’s ingrained in my very being. It has taken me decades, though, to learn this. If you haven’t dedicated yourself to a spiritual path, maybe you are just as blind to your Divine nature as humans in the physical world? Regardless of whether you’re embodied or not, if you can’t see your Divine nature, you are in fact blind and need a guide. A guide who can ‘see’ the Divine and thus lead you back to your source?

I sat with the duo and did nothing besides offer up my presence to them. Not much happened; there were no fireworks, no sudden transformations, no surprises. The meditation ended with me just sitting with the pair. Will they be with me tomorrow or was this a one-time thing?


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