August 25, 2022

 This morning I found myself in a somewhat familiar place. A sickly green light pervaded the stone chamber and in the center was a glowing green sarcophagus. It was empty. There was something about the light that I could tell would infect anything that came in contact with it. It is like the greenish light carried a contagion within it and nothing would be spared.

After a while, I realized that the chamber opened into a short tunnel that led to the ocean. I walked down it and found myself on a rocky ledge overlooking the water. Waves rolled in, deep blue with white froth. The cobalt blue and white reminded me of Griffin because, in the past, these colors have been present before I have met with him. I got briefly hopeful but there was no sign of him.

After standing on the ledge watching the violent waves for a while, I spotted a figure out in the water. She was suspended over the surface of the water, walking upon it much like the story of Jesus on the Sea of Galilee. As she approached, though, it was clear she didn’t believe herself to be Jesus or anything divine. She was wrapped in bandages that were sand-colored. The bandages were calcified, rigid, as if they had been on her for so long that they had frozen in place.

Her face was covered by bandages so it took me a while to realize she was a woman. It was clear that she believed herself to be contaminated in some way, perhaps because of disease. (Had she died of some disease or plague?) The disease had been a part of her for so long that it became her identity and she moved as if she was covered in scabs. It was painful to watch her.

For a while, I though that she was supposed to go back in the sarcophagus because it was clear that was where she had come from. But, no, that wasn’t it at all. She knew where to go and it wasn’t into the cave with the sickly green glow. Instead, we climbed to cliff face, eventually finding our way to the top. A vast, grassy meadow of soft, green grass awaited. This was the green of health and vibrancy, in contrast to the green of disease below.

We lay down in the soft grass, laughing. She was happy, free. Even her bandages disappeared, leaving her body uncovered. I don’t know what she looked like in real life but here she was beautiful, mostly because she was so happy and alive. We rolled over and over in the grass, giddy. It felt really lovely to merge with her presence and, at one point, I ended up on top of her, looking down upon her laughing face. It was a pure moment, no sexual energy at all, just joy.

And then I became aware of her guide.

I looked up from the grass and an old woman with white hair and blue eyes was watching us. She wore a cloak the color of the blue ocean and white waves, very beautiful. I believe she also had a gemstone in her necklace. She was familiar to me; I think she’s the same guide I’ve met on countless occasions, always an agent of compassion and mercy and mirth. Always bringing healing, hope, and grace. She could have been Asian, Native American or European. She felt ancient but not feeble, just timeless and deep.

The colors of her cloak–deep blue and white–weren’t just of the ocean but also of the City of White I visited in my trip through the fifth Bardo, the nexus of souls. The city had been pure white with pure blue waters and pure blue skies. A place of energy, light, hope. As I mentioned, cobalt blue and white are also colors I associate with Griffin. 

The old woman held out her arms to the younger woman, the one who had been encrusted in bandages and reeking of illness but who was now healthy, vibrant, alive. The young woman went to her and they left, hand in hand.


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