August 26, 2022

 I can’t say anything with certainty but it seems like these encounters are related to the so-called eye of the heart. When I am meditating, it feels like a portal–or eye–opens in my heart center and suddenly I ‘see’ things I can’t when I’m not meditating. (Or usually can’t, at least. As you know, I sometimes have these encounters when I wake from sleep in the middle of the night.)


The eye is both objective and personal. It’s objective in that it would happen to anyone in my same position; i.e., one who is somewhat disidentified from the personality. Once the ego is not always the center of awareness, other things are possible. The eye is also personal in that my own personal essence is present during these experiences. Sometimes, it’s at the fore and sometimes it’s just implied. That said, it is not like I am making anything happen so I can’t claim responsibility. Who makes the decisions about what I see? I have no idea. It’s up to the Divine, I suppose.


Today, the eye opened and I saw an inferno. I started crying as soon as I saw it. So many people being incinerated! I don’t know why but I had a feeling I was ‘seeing’ some catastrophe in Africa, perhaps in Ethiopia. I don’t know.


The eye closed. When it reopened, I saw midnight blue. Again, more tears. The cobalt blue wasn’t the blue of water this time; it was the deep blue of night. I seemed to be seeing the same place at night but, while there was no long any fire, it was still a horrific place.


The eye closed. When it reopened, this time I saw white sand. Not completely white, more like limestone white; i.e., slightly tan colored. This was the same scene in daylight. A village made up of buildings that were all sand-colored. It was bright, sunny.


I’m not entirely clear on how to interpret this. Next, I was back in the place at nighttime. There was a person who approached whose skin was burned to a crisp. I could only see their eyes. There was pain, suffering. There was also hope. I think the hope was because I was there. (I know, I know. If this place really was in Africa, it triggers the ‘white savior’ trope. I should point out that I didn’t feel like a savior. I had no choice about being there and wasn’t doing anything. I was just a catalyst, the Divine was in charge; the Divine was the savior.


The burned person merged with me and I got a strong sense of their presence (which always seems to involve scents.) Their essence was both herbal and floral, smelling lightly of lilac or something like that.


And then I was back in the daytime. Another person–a woman with black skin and braided hair wearing a cloak the same color as the white sand–was before me. She seemed happy to see me. I think she was a guide; she was there for the people incinerated in the inferno.


She was standing beside three tall monoliths. One was brilliant orange and crimson; the same color as the inferno. Another was deep cobalt blue and azure; the color of the night. The final one was white limestone; the color of the earth and buildings of the village. What these monoliths signified, I don’t know. They felt important, though. They also felt alive. And they were connected to the woman in some way.


Maybe I was never intended to know what this meant because it didn’t have anything to do with me. In a purely clinical sense, it was never about me. My role was complete and I was no longer needed. Did the eye of the heart open for this purpose? To bring the guide in so she could take over?


***

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