February 14, 2023

 I’m not sure how much stake to put in this because we’re just two days into this but something appears to have changed in the ‘journey’ I experience while meditating. I’m pretty sure that neither yesterday’s nor today’s involved dead people. I *think* they were still alive. Unlike finding the souls of the dead, I’m not sure how aware of me these souls were. In some ways they are but not in the same way as those who have died. It’s also more work. When finding a dead soul, you just need to locate them in the blackness and then pull them over into the next realm so they can continue their journey. With these souls, they’re trapped but not necessarily in the black; it’s more like they’re deluded. Sort of like they’re lost in a maze or a fog and can’t find their way out. Your job is simply to be with them, holding the depth and maintaining the connection to the light of the Truth. This seems to help them in some way, help them climb out of their delusion and get onto firmer footing.

There are no narcissistic supplies, either. When they can’t see you and don’t even really know you’re there, you’re essentially invisible. Also, you don’t get to see whether there is any change or development as a result of your being there. You may have helped but the help might just be temporary. Unlike meeting the souls of the dead, they aren’t a lot of warm fuzzies. The training I’ve received over the past few weeks makes more sense now. The instruction has been simple: Maintain the channel, bridging heaven and earth and everything in between. Do nothing. Just be here now. This turns out to be critical. You have to be able to remain stable, centered, grounded.

This morning, I first became aware of a memory fragment. I think it was a peak experience. The person was a guy who appeared to be in his twenties. He was bearded, brown hair, handsome-ish. He was hiking in the wilderness. It was sunset and he was on a trail on a cliff face. He was happy.

And then this memory dissolved and I was in a gray fog. It wasn’t just foggy but it was windy as well. You couldn’t see a thing. He was lost in that fog. I reached out and gripped his hand, stabilizing him in the fog. The fog didn’t go away but he was no longer lost in it. My presence was what he needed to stabilize himself.

The silver/gold avatar was back. I recognized its function more clearly this morning: I think it corresponds to the Diamond Vehicle, the Citadel, in the Diamond Approach. It’s a structure that gives the soul support and stability to follow the Truth. This is why it doesn’t feel alive; it’s a structure of Being, designed to support the development of Being.

So, after I found the soul of the guy and stabilized him in the fog, the Citadel emerged, enveloping him. The rest of the meditation, I remained where I was. It was exhausting work. As the meditation progressed, the fog gradually brightened. There wasn’t a radical shift, just a subtle lightening. I took this as a good sign: The soul was perhaps on the right track now, no longer lost in the fog.

I wonder how much of my own soul’s development has been aided by the intercession of other beings besides my teachers in their physical bodies. It certainly seems like it’s a team effort and, for much of our soul’s journey toward the light of Being, we’re oblivious to anyone or anything that might be aiding us. I’ve been aware of Essential states and vehicles, of course, but only recently became aware of other entities. I guess it takes time to develop the ability to perceive them?


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