May 10, 2023

 Today was a little different. No lost souls, no missions. Instead, I found myself in the Angel Gabriel's memories (or at least the memories of the one I call Gabriel; who knows who he really is.) It was like I was in his “body” and seeing everything through his eyes. We were in the Imaginal realm so everything was rich in metaphor and symbolism and nothing was intended to be taken literally. As always, it’s the meaning behind the symbolism that’s important.


At first, I saw a golden chest covered in jewels. I’ve seen this chest before and recognized it: The Ark of the Covenant. The chest’s lid was missing and inside was a baby boy. As I moved closer, I realized that the chest was sitting in the midst of a murky, foggy marsh. Rising up out of the fetid water were a bunch of skeletal hags, their rotting skin hanging off their bones. They were horrific but I was unafraid. I moved through the marsh toward the golden chest, taking the infant out and hauling him to safety.


I held the baby to my chest and, looking down, realized that my body could be either a woman’s or a man’s. It didn’t matter which gender because gender was unimportant.


I waded out of the marsh, eventually finding higher ground and settling down on a grassy bank. The fog lifted, revealing a lush, green pasture and blue sky filled with puffy clouds. It was quite an idyllic scene. I looked down at the infant and watched him grow into a boy and then into a bearded man. I recognized him then as the same king that I met yesterday, the one seated on a golden throne surrounded by angels.


The man stood up and, holding a staff, made his way across the pasture, away from me. Part of me wondered if this man was supposed to be Jesus but I’ve met Jesus a few times and this guy was not him. I still don’t know who is, though. David? Solomon? Someone else? The only thing that was clear was he was an important leader from pre-Christian times. And this leadership was important not only in that time but he continues to hold considerable power even now in the Imaginal realms.


I understood that, as the Angel Gabriel, it was my responsibility to look after him, not to protest him because, as soon became apparent, I could not. Rather than protecting his body, I was tasked with protecting his soul and I took this mission seriously.


I should also note Gabriel's affect: He wasn’t warm and fuzzy like a human. He was simply who he is. And he doesn’t really have a gender. I get the sense that we can see him in any number of ways in any number of genders. Again, gender is unimportant to him. He is who he is and has a steadiness and imperturbability about him. He is also not afraid of anything.


Time slid by but I remained unchanged. The man disappeared but the pasture remained. Suddenly, it was split by a black chasm. The chasm was vast and filled with stars. I walked toward it, eventually entering inside. There was an enormous, black demon with huge horns waiting for me. As fierce as he was, though, I was still unafraid. I simply raised the sword in my hand and sliced a hole in his heart. I don’t think I killed him or really even hurt him - that wasn’t the point. 


The point was to enter his heart and I did, stepping inside where there was a fire blazing. Inside the demon’s heart was a golden casket covered in jewels. It reminded me of the golden chest in which I had found the baby. Like the chest, the lid was open on the casket and there were only bones inside. Bones and the tattered remnants of a robe.


I knew these were the bones of the man (who had been the baby) and lifted them gently out of the casket. As I did so, the skin and sinew grew back, knitting the bones together. In a moment, the man was whole again and, even more important, alive.


This was the end of the memory that Gabriel shared with me. He stayed within me (and is still there), though, after it was over. Why exactly he wanted to share this memory with me isn’t precisely clear. It seemed to establish his devotion to the man and also his fondness toward him. It also seems to be intended to help me see the man more fully. Why Gabriel considered this important is beyond me at this point but maybe I’ll figure it out soon? In any case, it established the man as not just important but also human. And I also got the sense that he is good and just.


More than that, though, only time may tell.


***

Popular posts from this blog

Introduction

Image
WARNING: While this blog is generally SFW, some entries contain sexually explicit/queer content. NOTE: It's best to read this blog starting with the first entry on January 3, 2021 , and then proceed chronologically. It will be a lot less confusing! I have been a student of the Diamond Approach (DA) since my mid twenties. I've dedicated my life to that path and have found it to be incredibly effective at piercing through the veil of the ego and revealing the sublime nature of reality. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, DA is a spiritual path elucidated by A.H. Almaas. It combines depth psychology with elements of Sufism and eastern mysticism. In my opinion, it's one of a handful of effective spiritual teachings. Students invariably experience release from their habitual, constructed self and delve into some deep and profound dimensions of reality. I can't do it justice in just a few sentences but you can check out the school's website here if you&#
Read more

April 23, 2024

  This morning’s experience was of the trippy, fantastical variety reminiscent of my first journeys into the Imaginal. I even went back to the white and cobalt blue city that I visited in my initial excursions into the Bardo. I started off thinking about how very strange most of the people are who do spiritual work. It seems like the people with the healthy egos don’t do spiritual work even though they are the best candidates. Instead, it’s a thieves' den of broken and unstable people (I don’t exempt myself from this classification) and these tend to have egos that aren’t well suited for the extreme dissolution required for spiritual transformation. Consequently, the broken become seekers and it takes them a very, very, very long time to in general to truly change. Most barely shift their perspectives at all. It’s kind of dispiriting. I began my meditation with that thought on my mind. After sitting for a while, I heard a voice, the voice of the Divine in my heart. It said, “I call
Read more

February 27, 2024

  No Imaginal sex today for once. ;-)  I was really planning to have a simple meditation but it didn’t work out that way. I became aware of the Black and then I realized I was surrounded by a pack of what I thought at first were black wolves. Their eyes glowed light blue, the color I have come to associate with the Land of Souls, for lack of a better name. These weren’t wolves, though, because, while they seemed menacing at first, I soon realized they were just agitated. They appeared to be huskies which are sort of wolf-like so I can be forgiven for mistaking them. In any case, the black dogs surrounded me, barking insistently and pleading for me to follow them.  I was still in the realm of the Absolute but it was a border region. All I had to do was look outward and I could see the edge of the realm. Up ahead was a shining blue-white beacon. It was so beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes. One of the dogs took my wrist in his mouth and pulled me toward the beacon. As we approach
Read more