February 5, 2024

 I got chastised again by the Woman in White.


I’ve had distracted meditations for the past few days and only figured out this morning that I was resisting something painful that wanted to arise into my consciousness. At first, I thought it was something personal to me but as I sat with it, I realized that it had nothing to do with me or my experience.


As I looked into the resistance, I saw that I was surrounded by a host of souls of the dead. Now, if you’ve been reading these entries, you know that the souls of the dead I usually encounter are either anonymous or are trapped due to something that happened to them or they inflicted upon themselves. This time, though, the souls didn’t fit into either category. These souls were not ‘stripped down’ to anonymity. No, each one was distinct and still very close to their living personality. Further, they were filled with negative emotions.


They appeared pretty horrific with whitened eyes and screaming, distorted faces filled with agony, desperation and rage. They were all different ages, different genders. The one commonality was that they were furious and aggrieved. It was shocking for me to be confronted by souls such as these, especially because I’ve grown accustomed to the more benign way that souls have traditionally appeared to me. 


Because of the intensity and negativity, I had been unconsciously trying to close them out of my experience. At this point, though, the Woman in White made herself known. “Your job,” was the gist of her words to me, “is not to save them. You are only a doorway. You need to trust that you are part of a much larger process, an ecosystem (my word, not heres) that is designed to handle all souls. Just relax and be open and don’t do anything. You are a doorway to the Absolute. They move through you and dissolve into it. You can’t alleviate their suffering; that comes later and is not your responsibility. Just let them through.”


In other words, I feel like she was telling me to just trust the process. That I’m part of a complex process but there’s no need to worry. It works. It just works. Obviously, this is difficult for my ego to comprehend but it is possible to surrender to it.


What could I do but obey her words? Even though it hurt like hell to open to this barrage of unmitigated suffering, I did. The souls came screaming through me but as soon as they met the jet black, immaculate emptiness of the Absolute, they dissolved. Curiously, they emerged on the other side at the Crossroads, cleansed and ready to join the Woman in White for the next leg of their journey. So, nothing was solved, no suffering was relieved, but that wasn’t the point.


If I were to guess, I’d say the negative karma that each soul carried was dissolved off of them in their foray into the Absolute but it wasn’t resolved. It remains. And it will remain until the right person arrives to confront and deal with it. This may be these souls on a later part of their journey or it might be the person/people who wronged them. 


But this is just a guess. I really don’t know.


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