February 8, 2024

 I’ve had more practice simply sitting with whatever is present for the past couple mornings. I find that my attention is drawn to a place in my body that feels resistant. I stay with the resistance and something is revealed. I think I spend a lot of time resisting being aware of things and I wonder if we’re taught from a young age to ignore and resist anything that doesn’t have to do with the physical world. The problem is that we’re both physical and nonphysical beings. You have to give both credit. And, in a way, they aren’t really separate; it’s just that we’re taught to view the physical/nonphysical as a dichotomy.


I’ve been curious about so-called negative karma. It seems to be part of all of these journeys and I have been wondering how it gets dealt with because it seems like most of the time, people die without working through their negative karma. So, it accumulates and is pretty toxic. In fact, if you’ve read these entries, it is toxic.


Today, I got a better understanding of it. Like most of the recent experiences, I spent basically the whole time in the Absolute. It’s interesting that I can discriminate between different objects and entities in the Black even though everything is, well, black. I’ve come to see that the way I ‘see’ in the Black has to do with the distance from the Source. Things that are closer to the Source, closer to the ground of Being, are differentiated from things that are progressively farther away from it. It’s the degree of knowing, I suppose. You can have greater or lesser knowledge of the Source and of your true identity. The more you know yourself to be Emptiness, the more you can perceive.


Today, the experience was of perceiving more of the ‘ecosystem’ of the Absolute or unmanifest. Like any ecosystem, there are decomposers which sounds dirty and I suppose the process of metabolizing the negative karma is like fertilizer. The karma gets broken down either by the individuals who work through their stuff or by the collectivity. The collectivity meaning all of the various entities who are part of the ecosystem of the Absolute. I saw how the karma is digested and thereby transforms into the rich raw material of creation, recycled into new and wondrous forms. This is a hopeful view of negative karma. Prior to this, I was worried that the negative karma just builds up, becoming more and more significant, heavier and more malignant. This experience reassures me that this is not necessarily the case. There is an ecosystem to handle it, a well-functioning one and one of which I am apparently a part.


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