April 14, 2024

 Illusion. It’s not that deep of an understanding but I’ve realized life in the physical and spiritual realms are filled with illusions. How many masses of people in the physical world are suffering under delusions? Basically everyone, including me, depending on the day and time. And the same is true in the spiritual realms. Lots and lots of illusions and delusions. The so-called lost souls are lost because they are trapped in a delusion. They find me one way or another in order to be stripped of that delusion and liberated.

I’ve also realized that these journeys into the Imaginal realms are a byproduct, not a result, of my inner work. The Work is about not just following the Truth but embodying it. Once we embody the Truth, we are enlightened. Literally enlightened. Our soul body emits the light of Being. We need this light in order to see at times but mostly this light, the Light of Truth, is for the benefit of others. 

These souls are drawn to me in the Imaginal because of this light. Light radiates from my soul, illuminating everything around it. And, when I’m in the ink-dark blackness of the Absolute, this light is like a beacon, for those who can perceive it. Or wish to perceive it.

I’ve realized, too, that the souls I encounter are isolated in the extreme. They are trapped in illusion or delusion, sure, but they are also separated from contact with other human beings. I can feel their loneliness and desperation. I think at first the illusion is comforting to them in some way (and maybe also terrifying but less terrifying than being completely dissolved into the Absolute.) After a while, though, the illusion becomes stale and the lost soul begins to yearn for freedom as well as contact with another sympathetic soul. At that time, they require the presence of one who not only sees them but who can help them through the dissolution of the Absolute.

Such was the case this morning. During my meditation I was very aware of the radiance of the soul body. Mine, at least this morning, was radiating a combination of gold and black light. Toward the end of the meditation, I was approached by a dark entity. It took the form of the deep-sea angler fish with gaping jaws. It also looked partially decomposed, kind of like a zombie angler fish. There are fragments of precious gems embedded in its rotten flesh but they merely caught the light emanating from my soul body, they didn’t provide light themselves.

I knew this form was an illusion. I could see the tortured human soul within. Breaking the illusion was only a matter of opening myself to the ‘fish’ and feeling love for it. When I did so, the illusion disappeared and I perceived the body of a drowned man suspended in blue water. Had this person drowned in real life or was this just a metaphor? It didn’t matter, of course. What was important was that this soul needed help and I was happy to provide it.

The man appeared to be in a sort of suspended animation. To reach him, I cradled his head in his hands and kissed him gently on the lips. His eyes opened. He looked both confused and afraid. “Don’t worry,” I conveyed to him, “you’re alright. Are you ready to leave this illusion behind? Are you ready to be free?”

He nodded but looked conflicted. Looking out on the depthless blackness that surrounded us, he said, “I am but I’m scared of the dark.”

Fear of the Absolute is a rational reaction. It seems scary to us because it takes everything away, including our identity. It’s all stripped away, cleansed and ultimately annihilated. If that isn’t scary, what is? The funny thing about the Absolute, though, is that souls don’t realize that it is this annihilation that they crave more than anything else. It’s paradoxical but, in annihilation, we come to know our true home. This is a truth that we all must learn over and over many times.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m here with you. I’ll hold you. We will make the journey together.”

This reassured him but I suspect he also knew that no one can really accompany you through the Absolute; it is a journey that must be made utterly alone. Still, he’d been utterly alone for so long that I supposed it helped him to overcome the fear of being dissolved. Plus, I think my presence–the presence of someone who had made the journey many times and survived–helped. I enfolded him in my arms and together we dissolved into the Absolute. 

There is that aloneness that comes with the dissolution. And then the aloneness disappears, too, and there is nothing. At the same time, there is deep and abiding love. We love–we can’t help but fall in love with the Absolute–but we are also love. Love and emptiness. Love and annihilation. Love and death. Love and nothing. Love and our end.

And then we are born anew. We emerge on the ‘other side’ transformed and ready for the next phase of our journey. (Or maybe we never emerge from the Absolute and that’s fine, too.) We were at the Crossroads. Our bodies were pure white. The man was lying beside me, apparently asleep. I awoke him by lowering my lips to his and kissing him awake. Just like before, his eyes opened and he was filled with wonder. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked around. Even though the Crossroads is a deathless place, it was exciting for him to see it because he’d thought that when he crossed ‘through’ the Absolute, there would be nothing. And yet here he was!

The Woman in White was watching us with a small smile. She wore the guise of a fashionably-dressed woman from 1950s America. No doubt this form was one that the man needed to see. She extended her hand to him and he took it, allowing her to pull him to his feet. He was quite naked but didn’t seem self-conscious. The Woman in White put his hand through her arm and they walked away together.


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