April 2, 2025

 Today, I found myself in a familiar place. I don’t know exactly why it felt so familiar but it has appeared in other journeys over the past few years. A forested realm that was verdant and beautiful, bursting with life. Simply being there was nourishing because even the air was succulent. There was a creature of golden yellow and green waiting for me. I suppose you could describe it as a dragon but it was more than that. Also, I felt like I knew it somehow, although I’m not sure why.


I sat with the place, the forest, the creature, eventually opening myself so the creature could show me where I was needed. As soon as I did so, I was transported to another realm entirely. A shadowy place that felt underground, the beings there were humanlike but had horns on their shaggy heads and glowing yellow eyes. Their faces were satyr-like and so were their bodies. Their skin was blue and their hair black. Despite the link between satyrs and sex, there wasn’t any sort of erotic charge so I hadn’t been called there for any salacious reasons…which was fine with me. I wasn’t in the mood for sex anyways.


One of the beings approached me. Like the creature I met yesterday, he was tired and wanted only to fade into the Absolute, a sort of death, I suppose. It’s interesting that two days in a row I’ve been called to such creatures. My theory is that humanity’s growing bank of negative karma (for lack of a better term) has resulted in an every-growing darkness that consumes and corrupts those trapped inside it. Also, sometimes beings are willingly corrupted. After a white, though, I can see how being in that darkness would grow wearisome. Probably at first it seems full of all sorts of forbidden fun but it’s also incredibly limiting. 


For the record, I think being confined to the lighter realms would also get tedious. Who wants to be good all the time? Ugh. I feel like a human’s prerogative is to be open to all experiences. Our soul is designed for experience and naturally wants to explore limits, growing beyond them. We crave–or at least I do–wide open, unrestricted experience. To be this open, though, requires us to experience some very difficult and painful states. It also requires that we grow comfortable with death. After all, how will we pass through into new experiences? We need to die.


And death was what this creature wanted. It’s interesting that this shadow realm which was so full of darkness was no ‘closer’ to the Absolute than a realm of light. You’d think the blackness would be a commonality but the blackness of the Absolute is not the same–or, rather, it’s so much more…infinitely more. Also, the Absolute has the unmistakable feeling of our true home. No shadow realm feels like that.


We hugged. Physical intimacy almost always is part of these journeys. In hugging, I opened to the Absolute and brought him along with me. Surprisingly (or maybe not so much), we were joined by another, more powerful being. This being looked much like the creature from yesterday–a skeletal human/wolf hybrid with long black hair–but he was much more powerful than that creature had been. I got the sense he was a sort of overlord for both the creature from yesterday and the being today.


This overlord was angry with me but also confused, hurt and desperate. He was also intrigued, curious to learn more about what I was up to. I didn’t feel threatened by him. Besides, what could he do to me anyways besides get angry? I invited him to join us and together we all dissolved into the depths of the infinite blackness. It’s really quite a beautiful experience. 


When we emerged into the realm of the Crossroads, I was holding two luminous pearls. The Woman in White appeared to accept them as she almost always does. She had a question for me, though, before she left. “Aren’t you curious where I go with these souls you bring me? Don’t you want to see?”


“I didn’t think I was permitted,” I replied. “Don’t you need to die consciously before you can find out?” By dying consciously, I meant physically dying and being conscious throughout the experience, something only a rarefied few are able to do.


“No, of course not!” She seemed to think this was funny. “You could follow me if you wanted.”


I hedged. “I don’t think I’m ready. I feel like I would be trespassing. During these experiences, I am always careful only to go where I’ve been invited.”


“Makes sense,” she agreed. “Still, the offer stands. Let me know when you’re ready and I’ll take you.”


Before she left, I wanted to know something else. “I can tell you’re able to cross through the Absolute just like I do. Why don’t you do what I’m doing when you’re more than capable of it?”


“Who says I don’t?” She was smiling. “The truth is that I do. You and I are no different, really. You’re just in training still. It takes time to learn these things but you already know that. You go at your own pace.”


With that, she was gone.


***

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