November 8, 2025

 I haven’t ‘traveled’ much lately but did journey this morning and I also remember an experience from about a month ago. In that one, I was in a grand, moonlit ballroom. In the center of the dance floor, there was an enormous porcelain doll that looked like a woman in a ball gown, dancing soundlessly across the floor. It was ghostly and more than a little creepy. Gazing upon it, I realized that there was a soul of a woman inside this doll. As soon as I saw that, I was inside the doll with her. 

I realized this soul was different from most of the souls that I encounter because her appearance was pretty distinct and she seemed quite emotionally stable. (She appeared to me as a woman in her thirties with short, brown hair. She also had an air of determination but the determination was a determination to avoid something, not to accomplish something. I was curious why I had been called to her because she didn’t seem like she needed any help. The longer I was in her presence, though, I began to understand.

The doll exterior was a defense mechanism to shield her from something. After watching the doll’s ghostly progress across the black and white tiled ballroom, I began to understand. The ballroom was in the so-called lunar realm, a nighttime realm that seems to be halfway between life and death, a sort of transit realm that some souls–maybe all souls–go through. This realm is close to the Absolute and thus annihilation. 

I’m mentioned here that the Black, particularly its annihilation, is something souls seem to need to come to terms with before they can proceed on their journey. It seems to function sort of like the River Lethe in Greek mythology, the river of forgetting, because souls transform when they pass ‘through’ it. (There really isn’t anything there to pass through, it’s just a figure of speech.) Almost all of the souls I encounter need help getting through the Black. This woman was no different in that way. 

I realized that this woman was terrified of the dark and, by extension, of the Absolute.

She seemed like someone who had sincerely engaged in spiritual work when she was alive but hadn’t had much experience with the Black Essence or Absolute, probably due to her fear. Consequently, her soul had developed more than most but was still lacking development in certain key areas.

I understood my role was to help her feel at ease with the Absolute, something I was happy to do. As I’ve noted before, it’s often easier doing difficult things when you have someone with you. In this case, just being with her gave her the confidence to approach and dissolve into the eternal blackness.

When we emerged from the Absolute into the realm of the Crossroads, the woman’s form had changed into a glowing, blue butterfly. This wasn’t unusual because souls often appear to me as glowing butterflies when they are near the end of their journey. The difference was that this butterfly’s wings were laced with gold, evidence of the development of the Pearl Beyond Price or personal essence. 

I cupped her in my palms and carried her forward, meeting up with the Woman in White. Around the Woman in White swirled dozens of glowing blue butterflies. Only the one in my hands, though, was also gold in color. I lifted my butterfly and released her. Together, the Woman in White watched as the butterflies swirled up into the darkness, leaving a streaming blue trail behind. The golden one added her sparkle like a rain of glittering stars.

***

This morning I found myself in a pretty grim place. Oh, outwardly, it looked ornate and beautiful. It was a golden palace whose walls and floors were gold encrusted with jewels. The problem was that the gold and jewels were also covered in human blood. It was completely dark, save for the golden light emanating from my body. I knew I wasn’t alone in this strange palace. Further, it was clear that this was no palace; it was actually a prison.

Trying to see who was with me, I looked behind myself but there was nothing but darkness. I continued moving forward through the golden hallway until I finally encountered a cowering little boy. He was hiding under a white sheet, presumably to avoid detection from the thing lurking in the darkness but, being just a sheet, it didn’t provide much cover.

I understood this place lured souls who were greedy for riches. They were attracted to the gold and jewels but didn’t realize it was a trap. Once here, they were consumed by a monster who fed off of their greed. 

As soon as I understood this, I turned and beheld the monster. It looked like a huge, black lamprey eel with row upon row of sharp teeth in its suction mouth. It lurked here and vacuumed up hapless, greedy souls. Its presence, while ghastly, didn’t scare me. I knew it meant no harm to me. Indeed, it almost seemed friendly.  I couldn’t judge it any more than I could judge any other beings I encounter during these journeys. It was obvious that it had a role to play and that’s what it was doing.

Scooping up the shivering boy in my arms, I wrapped him up in the sheet and turned to the monster, allowing it to devour us. Its gaping maw plunged down upon us, swallowing us whole. I was somewhat surprised that,  rather than finding ourselves in its stomach, we appeared to be in a completely pitch black space filled with dozens of other terrified children. Just as I had done with the little boy, I scooped them up in my arms as best as I could and entered the blackness, allowing myself to dissolve into it. We emerged at the Crossroads on the other ‘side’.

Now that I had emerged into the Crossroads, I discovered that the children had disappeared and now I was holding a bag full of squalling babies. I quickly unpacked the bag, laying the babies out on top of the sack cloth in the snow. There were so many of them! I was overwhelmed. There were all different races and genders. It was quite stunning and I didn’t know what to do.

The Woman in White appeared then, looking over my shoulder at the babies. “Leave them and follow me,” she ordered. I looked at her and back at the children, feeling like I couldn’t leave them here alone. She merely shrugged and continued on, saying over her shoulder, “They made it here, didn’t they? They’ll be fine. Just come.”

I gave the babies one last, longing look and followed along behind her. As I neared her, she reached back and took my hand. “I’ve missed you,” she said. “You’ve been away too long.” This made me cry and she looked at me questioningly. “Why are you crying again?” she asked.

“I always cry,” I said. “You know that.” 

She smiled, “I do. But tell me. Why are you crying?” She was leading me through the snowy forest, away from the babies.

“It just all seems so brutal,” I said. “Why is death so traumatic?”

She answered me with a question. “Do you think you will make things better if you take away the difficulty?” She laughed, “We’ve had this discussion before. You know you aren’t helping if you try to take away someone’s suffering. It’s their own. Without it, they will never grow, never change, never understand anything. Would you have liked it if I took away your suffering all those many years ago when we first met? You were just a baby back then, just like those babies back there.”

I shook my head. “No, I wouldn’t have liked that. But you did help me. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”

“True,” she admitted, “but there’s a difference between comforting someone who needs it and taking away their suffering. I comforted you but left you alone to make your own way. The journey was yours, not mine.” 

I was bawling by this point, something she found funny. “You always have been such a crier! It’s the reason I found you and decided to help you, you know. You have a very gooey heart, even though you try to hide it. It’s why you’re so well suited for this work. You really do care about these souls despite how much you say you dislike people.”

I rubbed my face, looking over at her. I could feel her love for me and it broke me. I started crying again and she smiled.

We reached the edge of the forest and I realized we were gazing out on a wide, snowy field. A chill wind blew over the hills, sending up clouds of snow. The clouds on the horizon were heavy and full of more snow. It was a brutal but very beautiful scene.

“No Climate Change here,” she remarked wryly, the corner of her lip lifting. “Just Reality and lots of it. The reason I brought you here is to show you this: The rewilding of Reality. Reality is wild by its very nature. It will eat you alive and spit you out. Would you have it any other way?” When I shook my head, she continued, “Then don’t try to tame Reality for the souls you find. Let it take them, let it brutalize them like it has done to you. Only then will you come to understand that Reality’s wildness lives in your very soul.”

***