February 13, 2021

 The Elves: The past couple weeks have been pretty quiet on the Imaginal front. After my ego was overwhelmed by the magnitude of the need I encountered, it shut down my experience. I could feel my ego using the muscles of my body to contract the muscles around my heart. Now, this didn’t actually have any effect on my heart as it’s an essential organ and thus not under the ego’s purview; however, it did have the effect of blocking my experience of the Imaginal. It made me realize that the ego normally serves as gatekeeper to our experience, allowing or blocking awareness of sensations and experiences. This makes sense because our souls need to develop certain capacities in order to handle experiences outside of the physical, emotional, psychological and egoic realms. In the Diamond Approach, we slowly develop our soul’s other capacities as we digest our egoic structures and come into contact with Essence/Being. I get the sense that I was only able to perceive my experiences in the Imaginal/Bardo because I had developed certain capacities of my soul. I’m not saying that I don’t still have work to do to develop these capacities and it’s also clear that there is only so much development that can happen in the Diamond Approach because that path is geared exclusively towards perceiving qualities and states of Essence.

It’s possible that other capacities need to be developed to integrate our experiences in the Imaginal and other realms besides the Essential one. I don’t know. It’s just as possible that you can’t separate out the capacities and developing these subtle capacities of perception in the Imaginal further develops our ability to perceive in the Essential. In other words, I might be getting trapped by duality; i.e., looking at things as separate that are really not.

Today, I encountered a relatively new thing that may presage a trend of things to come...or not. As I mentioned, it’s been a calm past two weeks with no more trips to the Bardo to help lost souls. I have had a handful of experiences while meditating of being in touch with other beings but these were not the souls of dead humans. They were elves.

I know. I know. Impossible, right? But how much more unlikely is this than anything else I’ve been experiencing over the past six weeks or so? At a certain point, you just stop resisting and give in, letting your experience take you where it is guided.

Looking back, I’ve had a number of experiences involving elves pretty much from the inception of my journeys into the Imaginal. I didn’t spend any time trying to differentiate them from other experiences I was having because it was all so new. Now that I’ve had a bit more experience under my belt, I can look back and see certain trends.

There was the recovery of (possible) past life memories and encounters with entities from that past life (namely Griffin but also others). There was the Imaginal. There were experiences in realms that probably weren’t the Imaginal/Bardo, too. These felt like my soul simultaneously occupying another living soul in another realm that might be the same physical and temporal reality...or not. These were experiences with other living beings, not necessarily all human.

This is where the elves come in. Several times over the past few weeks, I’ve the experience of being with elves of various kinds. There was the all-female clan of forest dwelling elves. And an all-male clan that may have been also forest dwellers. Green and brown were the prevailing colors, along with black. 

Today, I was meditating and had the experience of ‘waking up’ in a lower realm that was very dark. I immediately thought that, if the Bardo I’d first visited was a realm that souls traverse on their way to the Sixth Bardo, ultimately encountering the gatekeeper, this realm was a darker, more sinister realm where ‘evil’ and twisted souls went. It didn’t have any of the fantastical beauty and wonder of the Fifth Bardo. It was a dire place full of suffering to a whole new magnitude. 

I wasn’t afraid and felt no sense of being in danger but I could see how I could get overwhelmed by it and could feel my ego with its finger on the buzzer, ready to shut things down. I don’t normally think of myself as having a Christian worldview but this could be perceived as one of the levels of hell. The difference, I suppose, is that there wasn’t a sense of punishment or damnation. Much like the ‘lost’ souls in the Fifth Bardo (remember how I often saw them as being trapped in darkness?), these souls were trapped in a much more comprehensive darkness. Almost impenetrable, although not completely. 

I wonder about it because there seemed to be both twisted and ‘evil’ human souls and other entities, possibly demons or devils. If I were a soul without a living body and I found myself in that place, I would be terrified. I almost hope that this whole experience was just my imagination because I found this place to be quite horrific. I guess the consolation is that the horror is of the occupants own devising, not some sort of punishment meted out by a vengeful god. Also, like everywhere else, it is made up of True Nature. Even in that hell, it was possible to perceive the divinity and perfection of True Nature. The blackness at its root was pure, undistorted True Nature. This, I guess, is the hope. A soul could find itself trapped in this place but ultimately begin to perceive it as the divine realm. I’m not sure how often that would happen, though, given the oppressive nature of the place.

So, why was I here? Was this just an aberration? A brain fart? A dark fantasy? It didn’t feel like it because my centers were engaged in the same way as when I perceive Essence. This doesn’t mean that I believe my perception was undistorted; I fully acknowledge that my perception can be skewed and my capacities to perceive need to be developed further. 

Still, I was in that dark place and able to keep my heart open and stay in touch with True Nature and Diamond Guidance. I wasn’t alone for long, though. Soon, I became aware of the presence of another. He was of elvenkind but, unlike the other elves I’d encountered, he was silver. Like the aspect of Diamond Will, precise and sharp and focused. I guess if I were to associate him with a clan, it would be the moon clan. He seemed comfortable in that place and also a little surprised to kind me there. It was clear that he had shown up to be my guide because he and his clan were trained to be there. They were warriors but not in the way of killing or hurting, rather their skills were at bringing the razor sharpness of precise discrimination as a gift to all who were present in that realm. Rather than doing battle with the denizens, they were there to help them free themselves from it.

The clarity, sharpness, precision and implicit love required to do this work really impressed me. I could see how I lack that sort of precision. My forays into the Fifth Bardo had been sloppy and imprecise by comparison. In a sense, it didn’t matter because the requirements in that realm were different. It’s not that perfection is required to be in this new, dark realm because one of the lessons from the Bardo was that True Nature doesn’t require perfection. However, I got the sense that this elf was sent to help me develop my will and precision in order to be in this place.

It was beautiful when the elf’s soul overlapped with mine and we were in communion. I could feel the depth of his sincerity and his love for the work he and his clan do in this realm. I also appreciated his luminosity, the beautiful and brilliant silver light he brought.

I perceived him as an elf, not as a human. His appearance was definitely elfin but there was also another difference. Human souls seem hazier, more dispersed than elves. Elfin souls are clearer, simpler, more refined. Perhaps he wasn’t an elf but an angel - but there were no wings and he didn’t seem quite that unified. Angels have a single-pointed quality but he was broader. But who knows? I could be inventing the whole experience.

It’s too early to tell if this was a one-time experience or if it presages future trips into this realm. My mind wants to compare this to my entry into the Bardo which was presaged by Griffin’s appearance and Griffin served as my guide for the first few days in the Bardo until it was clear that I didn’t need his assistance any longer. Would this be similar?

The intimacy of the union with this elf was different. With Griffin, it was sexual and explicit and accompanied by recovered memories of our time together. This wasn’t like that. Sexuality wasn’t excluded (he was very handsome and sexy!) but it wasn’t the focus. The overriding sense was precision and integrity and steadfastness. Qualities of Will. 

I can still feel his presence inside me. Again, I have no idea what this means or how long he’ll be here. I guess I’ll just have to find out! It could be nothing...


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