May 2, 2021

 Yesterday, I was back to my resistance against Christianity and it’s not like my resistance went away with a poof of smoke but I did feel it lessening. The theme was of queerness and how queerness isn’t an accident, it’s woven into the very tapestry of Christianity and has been since the beginning. The hatred, bigotry and discrimination that Christians have shown against queers doesn’t represent the true state of the religion. The religion itself is queer through and queer, just as it celebrates all genders.

It seems strange to write this because I hear Christians say bigoted and homophobic things all the time. Also, one of the previous themes was that all is sacred, even the profane. It’s hard to square this with the way Christianity shows up in my ‘voyages’ to the Imaginal but there is no taint of hatred, homophobia, sexism or discrimination there. Everything and everyone is welcome. If I were to guess, I would say that all the negative stuff gets cleansed from the soul as it makes its way through the Bardo, through its various lives or perhaps through its stay in hell if the soul was particularly twisted. By the time they are welcomed into ‘Heaven,’ they are clean, clear and pure.

What that says about me is a bit of a mystery because you already know how much I struggle with my impurities. I have felt like an interloper in ‘Heaven’ and indeed in the entirety of the Imaginal because I know I am not pure. Still, the messages could not be clearer: I am welcome here and not just welcomed but embraced, celebrated and cherished. It’s apparently a big deal that a soul like me shows up there while still embodied. I’ll try not to let it go to my head. ;-) I say that with a wink because how could it go to my head - this whole trip through the Imaginal isn’t exactly something I can put down on my resume or brag about to my friends. It’s just too crazy!

Still, the craziness of it seems to be lessening over time and as I journey here more frequently. There is an overarching harmony here that is seamless with the whole of Reality. The problem is my limited view and understanding of Reality, not Reality itself.

Anyway, as I was saying, yesterday’s theme was that queerness is not only inseparable from Christianity but an essential part of it and therefore my presence in the Golden City wasn’t an accident. 

This theme of welcome and embracing is a persistent one and addresses a deficiency in my soul. All of my life (both this one and the previous one), I have felt like an outside observer, looking in and living on the margins. I’ve felt that my sexuality brands me as a permanent outsider and the best I can hope for is to be tolerated. The experiences in the Imaginal have sought to abolish this delusion but showing me that nothing could be farther from the truth. That I’m not only welcome but integral to all of Reality (including Christianity) precisely because of who I am and that includes my sexual orientation. It’s a powerful message and one that will take some time to fully open to.

And that bring me to this morning’s meditation. The theme this morning was the ground of Reality. Now that the queerness of the fabric of Reality has been established, True Nature revealed the simplicity of the ground of Reality. I felt more than welcome, more than accepted, more than celebrated; I felt rooted in the very ground of Reality in all its forms and manifestations. Whether it is showing up as the stream of Christianity or the Diamond Approach or the wild magic of Nature, it’s all the same ground and it is my ground. There is a matter of factness about this. Reality is Reality. Suchness. No fanfare, no emotionality, it just simply is and that isness is who I am.

The words ‘birthright’ kept coming back to me but it’s a birthright of the Cosmos because we are True Nature, birthed of True Nature, beings of True Nature. Given this, we can only ever be True Nature and the entirety of True Nature is our nature. We are its birthright. It is our birthright. There is no it or our, simply the ground of Being.

This is stuff that’s been repeated over and over in the teachings of the Diamond Approach and is nothing new to me. What is new, though, is the personal quality of the message and the appearance of the Imaginal as my birthright. I’ve never felt this to be personally true, that Reality was in a sense reaching out just for me to communicate this message, to make sure I knew it and understood it as fully as possible. All is my birthright. All is here for me. All is available and will always be available.

It’s a continuation of the themes of the past several weeks only in a more complete way. I was touched by this but also curiously unmoved because this was a recognition in a basic, visceral way of the very nature of Reality. In some sense, it’s unremarkable because it’s so obviously and basically true. In another sense, it’s completely and stupendously amazing. 

This is a belly-centered knowledge mostly whereas most of the previous wisdom has been communicated through the heart center. I think this is why it shows up in such a simple, clear and profound yet unremarkable way.


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