January 7, 2021

I find it fascinating how Diamond Guidance (DG) reveals ‘information’. Prior to a couple weeks ago, I was getting bored with the limited scope of my inquiry because I was continually orbiting around my ego structure, examining the same material over and over and over. When I finally let go and allowed DG to expand its scope and journey into new realms, I felt like I was hallucinating or imagining or god knows what--at least at first. As the experience stabilizes and as my soul’s ability to explore develops, things are making more sense. 

At first, it feels like almost a supernova explosion of new information, new realms, new encounters. My poor rational mind got overwhelmed. But the truth is the impetus behind DG, not fantasy. So, journeying becomes following the thread of the truth and holding lightly what is revealed. Some of my experiences, no doubt, are fallacious but there is nonetheless a grain of truth in them that needs to be explored.

Today, I started meditation with a sense of being supported at the root by my soul’s other half whom I refer to as Griffin. Gradually, I perceived a shining light that I first took to be the DG vehicle but, as it resolved in my awareness, I saw that it was very much like a scepter in appearance. I felt like I was seated upon a thrown (the base of which was the support of my other half) and the scepter descended gradually downward until it lay in my ‘hands.’ The feeling I had was one of reverence combined with responsibility. I vaguely remember one of AH Almaas’ teachings about the soul becoming True Nature’s Vice Regent, meaning the soul acts on earth as a caretaker and representative for the throne occupied by True Nature. So, I didn’t feel like I was royalty and there was no sense of pride; it was more a sense of taking responsibility.

I became aware of the presence of Being in a mysterious form that is indescribable and I bowed my head, offering my allegiance above all else to ‘It’. I felt then the presence of other caretakers or Vice Regents. One put a hand over mine own, a gesture of welcome and acknowledgement. Gradually, blackness took over my awareness. It was shimmering and rich and mysterious. It became more and more absolute until everything was mysterious blackness.

Then I felt twin points on the right and left sides of my sternum just under my rib cage. These points are points of contraction that I have been aware of a lot during Inquiry and meditation. They seem to be a repository of ego experience and impressions. As I focused on them, the impressions and images contained within them began to stream out, presenting themselves for my inspection. They were all of the times in my life I fell short, stumbled, erred, did wrong to others and to myself. I get the sense I am holding onto them for some reason. I think they represent a collective belief that I am unworthy of Being and I hold onto these impressions, believing I’m too flawed, too damaged to be a representative of Being on earth.

I’m not saying they are gone but I did experience them and see them in a clearer light than I have before. We’ll see where this goes!

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