August 31, 2022

 The pieces of the puzzle are coming together very slowly. Yesterday’s WTF experience makes a little more sense now. The ‘gift’ that the woman bestowed wasn’t for me but for all beings, or at least all animals (maybe.) The ‘opal’ seems to have opened a new portal of experience for me, one that allows me to ‘travel’ into new realms. These realms are beyond the human ones.


I now think that the gift from the woman (the white/black opal) allows me to take different forms so that I appear differently to different entities. In particular, it makes me appear as an animal of the same species when I meet non-human animals. 


This morning when I meditated I met another shaman but this one wasn’t human; it was a whale (a humpback, I think.) The whale was studying me with an unreadable expression in its eye. As soon as the whale spotted me, I could feel my outward shift to that of a whale so that I’m pretty sure I appeared as a whale to him. We were underwater (of course) in a blue sea. I’ve encountered whale-like creatures before in these travels but this one was different: It was clearly an individual and it was clearly a whale through and through. In other words, it wasn’t another entity appearing as a whale.


As I floated there under the scrutiny of the whale, a portal into liminal space opened inside me. This, I think, is what the Christians refer to as ‘limbo’ and it’s the ‘space’ where souls can become trapped due to trauma. Up until now, I’m pretty sure all of the souls I’ve encountered in the liminal space have been human but this soul belonged to a whale. It was the whale soul that the whale ‘shaman’ had sent me to collect.


The liminal space was black but there were other colors as well: Purple, deep blue, pink. It wasn’t the colors that impressed me, though. I don’t know if I’ve written about this before but I’m often hit by a wave of intense grief and sadness when I enter the liminal space before drawing forth a ‘lost’ soul. This time was no different. I started crying (I always do) even though the sadness and grief weren’t my own. The reason for the sadness was clear: A mother whale was trapped inside the liminal space after losing her calf (and presumably her own life as well or she wouldn’t have been trapped here.)


My mind immediately blamed people for the death of her calf but I don’t think we were directly to blame. I’m not positive but I believe that sharks killed the calf. In any case, the calf’s death hit her hard and she has never recovered. Whether she died in the same attack that killed her calf or shortly afterwards, I don’t know. I do know that she wouldn’t have been caught in the liminal space if her calf hadn’t died traumatically, leaving her feeling like a failure and deeply depressed.


What could I do? This was where having the form of a whale helped because I could reach out to her and cradle her in my flippers and we could hold onto each other as whates do. The ‘physical’ contact was important to her because she had felt so alone. Being touched by another of her species was a comfort to her.


Gradually, her grief subsided and I became aware of the liminal space shifting around us. It became filled with other sea creatures and the blackness gradually faded to deep blue. We were back in the first realm and the whale equivalent of a shaman was waiting for us. The two whales swam slowly off together, leaving me behind to finish my meditation.


I am realizing that there are any number of heavenly realms, not just a Christian one (although there is definitely a Christian heaven as well.) Even the whales have their own heaven equivalent. I’m not sure if it overlaps with others or if it’s their own specific realm. As all of the other heavenly realms, it’s incredibly beautiful, peaceful and deeply healing. I relaxed, feeling glad that I could help in my own small way.


Does this experience mean that I’ll encounter other animal spirits in addition to the usual human ones? It’s hard to tell but it makes sense that other species besides humans occasionally require an intervention. The mystery continues, although small pieces of it are being revealed. The more that’s revealed, the weirder and more beautiful it becomes.


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